For most entrepreneurs, their company is their life’s work.

I started working on what would become social-emotional learning company Move This World when I was 21 years old, during my Fulbright Scholarship. I was a bright-eyed, optimistic dancer wanting to combine my passion and purpose to help people connect to themselves and one another using the power of creative expression.

I’m still a dancer, but bright eyes and optimism soon gave way to the reality of being a company founder. Suddenly, in 2016 I found myself on day 12 of sitting in complete silence for 16 hours a day without making eye contact with anyone in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery in northern India.

It was part of a silent meditation retreat. My dear friend and personal accountability partner says that I “ran away” and that I “disappeared.” The reality was, I had escaped from my first baby: Move This World.

I started Move This World to help people authentically connect to themselves and express what they’re feeling. As a lifelong dancer, I believe in the power of creative expression to most effectively achieve that goal. At that time, we were delivering direct services to students and teachers, engaging them in the work of self care and emotional awareness, using creative expression and movement as our vehicle.

Before I knew it, I was not facilitating sessions. I was not creating curricula or programming. I was not writing content. Instead, I was raising money and convincing people who had never thought about self work to care about it for teachers and students. I was managing staff. I was putting out fires. I was monitoring cash flow.

Though I loved the vision we were working toward, I was very disconnected from it. I resented what I had built. I think I may have slowly grown to even hate it.

So when it became obvious that I was burnt out, uninspired, and not feeling creative, I escaped. I escaped to a sabbatical of silence and creativity.

Anyone who’s sat in silence and meditated for long periods of time knows that it is uncomfortable–physically, mentally, and emotionally.  But you slowly settle your mind and focus in on your breath. With time, you acknowledge your areas of growth with compassion and patience.

It was during this “escape” that I was actually brought back to reality. I sat in the discomfort and the pain. I moved through it.

There has been pain in building Move This World. But each time I experience a setback, I know that it’s temporal. Recognizing the ephemeral nature of everything, including my company, has given me strength. 

It’s been two years since my vow of silence, and the company is doing better than ever. We’re working with over half a million students across 25 states. We’re seeing students effectively identify, express and manage their emotions. My team is collaborating successfully.

Building Move This World has been the ultimate journey in pain. There have been more lows and deeper valleys than mountaintops so far. But because I’ve climbed those mountains and ridden those waves, it’s given me the calming confidence to know that I can tackle any mountain, any challenge.

So when I do get knocked down again, and it will happen soon I’m sure, I will surrender to the discomfort know that it will pass. I will return to my knowledge that the challenge is ephemeral, and remember the rewarding gratification of the mountain top that I will reach again.

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Photo credit: Barrie Adleberg of Split Ends Media.

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See also: 

• Transitioning to a For-Profit Model, but Keeping Your Company’s Soul
• Lessons From Rowing Made This Startup Founder a Better CEO
• Startup Evolution Means Adapting to Constant Change
• Avoid Startup Distractions and Stay Focused on Tasks That Matter